“If you want to change the world...DO HARD THINGS!” - Kristen Nash

It’s the end of an era for some, and I want to write a little note to you all. 

I listened to the 2014 University of Texas at Austin Commencement Address given by Admiral William H. McRaven, a Navy SEAL who graduated as a Longhorn 30 years prior. Admiral McRaven based his remarks on the University’s brand message, “What starts here changes the world,” and related it to what he learned as a Navy SEAL. Although I align with McRaven’s SEAL training only through an outlier’s obsessive fascination with discipline and raw grit, I share his enthusiasm for the ability of every single person to change the world.

Here’s my take on how to change the world from someone who is SEAL-adjacent.

Three years ago, I challenged myself to write down three things daily that I was grateful for, with the caveat of no repeats. It’s easy to cruise into week two if you’re continuously grateful for family, friends, and Diet Coke. What makes it hard and more meaningful is when I sat there stumped, trying to think of three new ideas and couldn’t. Around week four, a miracle happened; the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, or frequency illusion, kicked in. When I had to start looking for things to be grateful for, I couldn’t keep up. I saw an entire world filled with limitless awesomeness that enveloped my soul. If you want to change the world, be a long-time, no-repeater of gratitude.

I teach an early morning class to twenty high school students. When I created a “We Can Do Hard Things Club,” the rules to join were simple: every Monday, draw one hard thing from the jar and complete it by Friday. My self-induced hard thing was not to pressure anyone to join. Very tough. My daughter and I were misaligned in our guesses of the potential percentage of participants. She guessed zero; I guessed 100. What’s your guess? Day one, Seventy-five percent of the class signed their names on a yellow poster board, announcing they were all in. The tasks ranged from asking a hallway crush to go on a 7-11 run, to introducing themselves to a stranger and asking three thoughtful questions, to dancing in between class breaks. The purpose was to push them out of their comfort zones and realize that what people think should never get in the way of being remarkable. If you want to change the world, do hard things.

While at university, I took a political science class from a professor who could have been a Ralph Lauren model. My 17-year-old self arrogantly submitted a paper worth 40 percent of my final grade with limited effort but overzealous optimism. When I got back a D, it was his comments that wounded my soul: “I don’t know how you got into university with this level of writing.” The shame! I never took a political science class again, but I did take multiple writing classes. Gerunds or verbs? The proper use of a comma? Come at me. If you want to change the world, actively turn weaknesses into strengths and don’t let even the handsomest of people define your capabilities. 

Thanks to his deeply scathing comment, I found a new path in communications, and I believed then as much as I believe now in the importance of communication. I don’t know when society shifted to the notion that once we discover one political or social belief of someone, we simply cut and paste an overall assumption of an entire group onto that one person. Too often my automatic assumptions were proved wrong as soon as I talked to people with compassion and interest. Everyone is dealing with something. Everyone has a story to tell. If you want to change the world, talk to people and seek to understand.

At a young age, my son was very creative at writing birthday lists. For his birthday cake, he wanted a banana cream pie made by his Grandma, and for gifts, he wanted a Nike Hyperdunk Summer Pack in Varsity Red. He wanted the gifts wrapped in orange paper, and if he wanted cash, he would list the denominations of preference. The specifics were impressive. Guess what? That kid was never disappointed. He definitely didn’t get everything on his lists, but it was always pure joy watching his complete satisfaction. Life is FULL of disappointments, but if you want to change the world, be clear about what you want. You’ll be surprised at how well it works.

After graduating from college, I worked at Mount Royal University in the Public Affairs office. A couple of times, I found myself walking from one meeting to another with the President. Any time I walked down the hall with him, mid-sentence he would casually cross the hallway to pick up a piece of garbage. It only took witnessing this act once before it stayed with me for life. If you want to change the world, pick up garbage.

An angel mother to some may sound like hyperbolic rhetoric, but to those who know my mom, it’s the truth. She is the kindest, most thoughtful, and empathetic person. When giving birth to my first, I willingly submitted all my emotions to the pain. Expecting to hear positive reinforcement and loving sentiments when she entered the room, she grabbed my face and firmly said, “You have got to get it together!” My pain-inflicted sobbing immediately stopped, and I did as I was commanded in a way that I never had before. I got it together then, and I got it together now. Over the years, I have seen my kids suffer from physical and emotional pain. I’ve suffered through moments of crippling anxiety and depression and I understand the need for validation, psychological intervention, and medication. Still, my kids know when I grab their faces and strongly say “the angel’s phrase,” they know exactly what to do. If you want to change the world, sometimes you just have to get it together. Now. 

When I was a teenager, I was often asked what my talents were. What a stupid question; I didn’t play organized sports, nor did I play a musical instrument. Was I talentless? Maybe. But on every report card I ever received, the teachers’ comments were the same… “Kristen talks too much and rarely accepts ‘no’ as an answer.” For twelve consistent years, these teachers were telling me things I needed to improve, but the reality was they were telling me my superpowers. I wish I had known then that talents can be defined as inherent qualities that don’t always need to be practiced. And they certainly didn’t need to be something quantifiable that others can watch or hear me perform. What made me unique were my gifts. If you want to change the world, define your talents now and be creative in how to use them every day. 

To add to a particularly chaotic Monday, I got a call that my dad had been taken to the emergency room. Covid had recently ended, but the hospitals were still a breeding ground of resentment. Nothing about the visit was easy. After spending the majority of the day and evening with my dad and family, the doctor advised us to go home. It was late, and we all needed to sleep. But as someone with anxiety, I could sense my dad’s anxiety, and knew I had to go back. I was exhausted as I called a friend, hoping for reinforcement that would allow me to go to bed with my conscience intact. Instead, she said, “You’ll never regret spending time with your dad.” My energy surged, and I headed back to the hospital without subjugation. If you want to change the world…get over your tired self and follow your gut. Postscript: if you want to change the world, find a friend who will tell you to get over your tired self and follow your gut. 

Early in my career, I worked directly with the CEO of Shaw Communications. Watching someone who bucked the system was such a unique opportunity as an impressionable newbie. A Harley-riding leader who rarely wore a suit, he never backed down from a fight. When he wanted something, he went for it in the most unconventional ways. His tenacity for the unusual made sense to him and me, and he quickly became a mentor whose guiding principles have lasted my lifetime. When I thought I should write a cookbook with a friend or hop in the car on a Friday with four kids and drive 24 hours to see the 2-minute and 11-second eclipse, I never questioned it. I just did it. If I want something, I have a talent for not taking “no” for an answer. If you want to change the world, fight for things others might deem offbeat or not worth it. 

And one more for good measure. I love words and phrases. I read with a dictionary, notebook, and pen. This obsession probably started when my professor lambasted my paper. Needless to say, I have notebooks filled with curated words and phrases. A couple of years ago, I read an article that included the phrase "collective effervescence." How could I have lived so long without this magical phrase in my life? Collective effervescence is the feeling of energy and friendship when people are engaged in a shared purpose. It is a ‘joie de vivre’ when we share these moments with best friends and strangers alike. In all those experiences, my heart explodes with happiness and I love everyone. Think of banging the pots at 7 pm as a united thanks to the doctors and nurses during Covid, a Taylor Swift concert, a high school buzzer-beater, or even a viral video of a dog named Buster. If you want to change the world, engage in collective effervescence often. 

In the song Wednesday Morning, Macklemore says, 

Humanity is a privilege, we can't give in

When they build walls, we'll build bridges

This is resistance, we're resilient

When they spread hate, we shine brilliant

Greatest gift I ever learned is helpin' someone else

You build, believe and build 'cause you forget about yourself

Service, purpose, works if you work it.

If you want to change the world, shine brilliant!

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