"Something small, inane to an outsider. Yet, … it represents hope that the world still has flavour." - Allana Shewfelt

When You Feel Like You Can't Continue

In the thralls of depression, I found myself festering in my bed for hours; unmoving, unfeeling, simply alternating between sleep and apathy. During this period, I found it extremely difficult to convince myself that anything was worthwhile. 

I couldn’t shower: I’ll just get dirty again, and it’s not like I’m going anywhere.

I didn’t do laundry: Drag all my clothes to the machine? Who cares?

I wouldn’t eat: Why waste the time and money? I don’t plan on being here for long anyway…

Some people find it hard to believe that anyone could stop caring about personal needs and hygiene to that extent. They experience disgust, running a pink tongue across smooth teeth, wondering how long a toothbrush would need to sit dry before the fuzzy film appeared. How long would they wait before soft lips turned cracked and white? Unfortunately, they mistake pain for laziness. These same people forget that when in a mental health crisis, the worst case is not a cavity or bad breath. The worst case is a human being gone forever.

If you’re finding it hard to continue in life or simply find this story hard to read, I urge you to continue. Know that more hope appears as we go on.

The First Step To Persisting

I can’t remember where this idea came from. It may have been a single post glimmering in a sea of doom-scrolling, a sentence that stuck from my litany of therapists, or some genetic compulsion that got an ancestor through their worst moment; an allele rearing its head to keep my line from disintegrating. There’s even a chance it was a gift handed down from psych-ward patient to psych-ward patient, like a handful of salt packets. Something small, inane to an outsider. Yet, when held by a hand that’s eating the same bland hospital food, swallowing the same bland medication, locked in the same cyclical thought patterns of despair, it represents hope that the world still has flavour.

However, it appeared this tip helped me immensely, and I’ve found it useful in various circumstances. I’ve used it to improve athletic performance, manage household disarray, complete assignments, maintain hygiene, and, most notably, stay alive.

My simple tool: “Ten seconds is better than no seconds.”

The idea is clear. Even if you can only manage to do something for ten seconds, it’s worth it. Even ten seconds can make a difference.

I don’t want to brush my teeth. 

Ten seconds is better than no seconds.

Toothbrush. Toothpaste. Water. One, two, three, four, five…. Six… seven… get the molars… eight… That spot still feels weird… nine... And the bottom front… ten. Spit.

What I’ve often found is that ten seconds turns into thirty. And thirty further morphs to one minute, then to ten. Each time I’m surprised at my own capacity. “You did it,” I say.

And when I get ahead of myself, shame rising up as I only complete three minutes of a ten-minute-task, I think back on my phrase.

Ten seconds is better than no seconds.

Three minutes is better than no minutes.

Even when I fail to meet my new goal, I can always return to what’s simple. If I can do it for ten seconds, I am doing it.

So many of our daily tasks feel Sisyphean. But rather than a boulder and a hill, my mortal coil is a mountain of laundry and water cups on a bedside table. It feels like a punishment because it’s always there, rolling back at us every morning. We forget that these silly to-do list items continue because we continue. To have these terrible tasks is actually a signifier: It means you kept going. You lived another day in this world. You are persisting.

Keep Going Slowly

What I want you to remember is not that “you can do anything you set your mind to!”

Let’s not pretend that all these tasks are easy, especially when your mind is actively working against you.

I want you to remember that you don’t have to finish tasks, and you don’t have to do them perfectly. It's okay if you just do something for ten seconds. Take as much time as you need.

Nobody tells a sloth not to eat a ficus. We don’t shame him for the moss growing on his slow-moving limbs. We watch in awe as clawed hands grasp a twig. Incredulous that despite the pressures of the world, gravity heavy on his arms, and metabolism burning away his leafy lunch, this sloth has managed to persist.

Is all his energy devoted to his next movement? Hopefully, he gets to enjoy his snack from time-to-time.

Munch, munch, munch. 

Endearing.

When we pour all of our energy into surviving, we forget what it means to live. There are things that are worthwhile, (like the taste of salty fries after two weeks of unseasoned egg salad sandwiches.) So, give yourself the chance to feel one percent better. You don’t have to do things perfectly, and you don’t need to “give it your all.” Let yourself fail and let yourself try again. Do something for ten seconds, even when it feels pointless. Go slow.

You can live your life ten seconds at a time.

I’m glad you’re here.

If you are looking for support, connect with us HERE or by calling 587-333-6349. 💙

Disclosure

Our content is for informational and educational purposes and is not a replacement for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're facing mental health concerns, please seek help from a qualified professional for personalized guidance. Every individual's situation is unique, so use the information here at your discretion. While we strive for accuracy, the field of psychology is ever-evolving, and our content may not always reflect the latest research. Please prioritize your privacy by avoiding sharing personal information in comments or interactions. Your well-being is our top concern, so use our content for educational purposes, but remember to rely on professionals for your specific needs.