From Despair to Hope: How to Support a Loved One Through Suicidal Thoughts
...asking direct questions actually reduces risk and encourages open, honest conversations. - Emily Christensen
Thoughts of suicide are more common than people realize. In fact, 1 in 5 people will experience thoughts of suicide at some point in their life. Among those considering suicide, 50-75% of them will show a warning sign to a friend or family member. Let’s talk about what it can look like when someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts and how you can best support them.
KNOW THE SIGNS
Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation refers to any thoughts about ending one's life, whether they are brief or recurring. These can be passing thoughts like "I wish I were dead" to more in-depth plans, including considering how they might die, what life would be like for others without them, or what they would leave behind.
Here are things to look for if you are concerned that someone is showing signs of suicidal ideation:
Severe sadness or moodiness
Hopelessness
Sleep problems
Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they previously enjoyed
Changes in personality or appearance
Engaging in potentially dangerous behaviour
Making preparations for death, such as getting rid of belongings
Increased talk about death
Signs of suicidal ideation can manifest in different ways for different people. While some may exhibit clear warning signs, others may show only subtle shifts in behavior or mood.
ASK
Be direct. Although it may feel difficult and counterintuitive to ask someone about their thoughts of suicide, doing so is one of the best ways to evaluate risk and address the situation. The idea that talking about suicide might “plant the idea in their head” is a myth. In reality, asking direct questions actually reduces risk and encourages open, honest conversations.
If you notice any of the above signs from Step 1, ask specific questions to understand their safety. For example, ask if they have suicidal ideations. If yes, the follow-up question is, “Do you have a plan or timeline for suicide?”. Understanding the immediacy of the risk can help determine your next steps. If you believe they are in imminent danger, call 911 immediately. If you are unsure about the current risk but want immediate professional assistance, call the Distress Centre at 403-266-4357.
LISTEN
Take the time to listen intently and validate their feelings. While it may feel safer to jump into “problem-solving mode,” doing so can prevent you from connecting with them on an emotional level. Instead, acknowledge their distress and listen without judgment. Empathy and understanding are key.
ENGAGE WITH PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT
Encourage them to connect with a mental health professional. While friends and family can be an excellent support system, mental health professionals are trained to assess risk and provide life-saving resources and strategies.
Because those experiencing thoughts of suicide may struggle with low motivation and energy, your help in setting up the necessary appointments can be very impactful. Accompanying them to a first appointment or calling a helpline together assures they follow through in getting the help they need.
HELP CREATE A SAFETY PLAN
A safety plan is an excellent tool to help keep someone safe from suicide and self-harm. It provides a series of steps for them to follow if their safety becomes a concern. Check out our previous Blog ‘How to Make a Safety Plan’ to learn more.
TAKE CARE OF YOU
It is completely normal to experience your own emotional distress when helping someone else through theirs. Ensure that you have your own resources to care for your own needs. Consider creating a self-care plan with both internal coping strategies, like going for a walk, and external support, such as a therapist.
It may also be necessary to set boundaries with your loved one. Setting boundaries isn’t about abandoning your loved one; it's about maintaining your own well-being so that you can continue to be a strong source of support. Remember, you are not the only resource available to them. Suicide helplines, mental health professionals, and emergency services are all accessible when needed.
Conclusion
Navigating the complexities of supporting someone experiencing thoughts of suicide requires both compassion and awareness. Knowing the signs, asking the right questions, listening without judgment, involving professional support and taking care of your own mental well-being can make a significant difference. Remember, you are not alone in this–help is available and reaching out can save lives.
If you or a loved one are experiencing thoughts of suicide and are in imminent danger please call 911 or the Distress Centre at 403-266-4357. 💙
Disclaimer
Our content is for informational and educational purposes and is not a replacement for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're facing mental health concerns, please seek help from a qualified professional for personalized guidance. Every individual's situation is unique, so use the information here at your discretion. While we strive for accuracy, the field of psychology is ever-evolving, and our content may not always reflect the latest research. Please prioritize your privacy by avoiding sharing personal information in comments or interactions. Your well-being is our top concern, so use our content for educational purposes, but remember to rely on professionals for your specific needs.
References
Centre, D. (2023, October 13). 5 steps to help someone who is having suicidal thoughts - distress centre. Distress Centre -. https://distresscentre.com/2017/01/24/5-steps-to-help-someone-who-is-having-suicidal-thoughts/
Inc, E. T. P. (2022, July 8). The difference between suicidal ideation and suicidal intent. Engage Treatment Program, Inc. https://engagetherapy.com/the-difference-between-suicidal-ideation-and-suicidal-intent/
Mayo Clinic. (2023, August 12). Suicide: What to do when someone is thinking about suicide. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707
